Come Alive
by FearsLosingTris
Summary: We've read Tris's version of the events, this is my attempt to delve into the mind of Four… Everyone sees him a little bit differently and this is just my version.


**Come Alive**

**Disclaimer: This will be the same story you've read. I don't own the characters or the plot, that all belongs to the lovely and talented Veronica Roth. I'm just taking Four out for a test drive to see if I can figure out his side.**

**Notice: I will try to post the corresponding Divergent chapter(s) at the top of each Come Alive chapter.**

"_I lay there in the dark, I close my eyes_

_You saved me the day you came alive."_

_-Come Alive by Foo Fighters_

**Chapter 1**

_Divergent Chapters 6 & 7_

I can't help but pace the small stretch of floor in my room. I'm usually a very self-contained person but my tension about this years initiation has made me edgy. Eric seems to have made it his personal goal to make the Dauntless initiation more brutal than ever.

I glance at the watch on my wrist, my eyebrows knitting together. The Choosing Ceremony will be ending soon. The decision to leave my Faction was an easy one but I know for many others it can be difficult. Those that make the choice I made when I left my past behind to become Dauntless are my responsibility.

Maybe I wouldn't be this worried if it weren't for the information I found last week. I run a hand along the back of my neck. I just need to focus on the next few weeks. Initiation. Once this group of initiates is through, I'll be done with Dauntless forever.

My thoughts are interrupted by a sharp knock; my eyes shoot to the door as Lauren pokes her head in, "Come on, Four! It's time!" I give her a nod, moving into the crowd in the hallway.

I try to feel some of their excitement, the Dauntless move through the halls whooping and yelling as they prepare to see the newest set of initiates. As we reach the platform at the members' entrance, Lauren and I climb to wait by the net. I avoid looking up at the opening, my heartbeat already elevated just by knowing the distance of the jump they are about to make.

"How much longer?" A voice yells from the back of the group. I glance at my watch before responding.

"Train should be here any second," I answer, stepping back from the net to await the first jumper. The group closes in around me as we all wait, wondering who will be the first to make the leap.

I hear the sound of cloth being whipped by the wind just seconds before the person comes into sight. I hear the impact as the body hits the net, the distinctly feminine gasp as she tries to regain her breath, laughing. My eyes focus on the body as I reach out a hand with the others, trying to get her off the net before the next jumper lands on her.

I feel her hand grasp mine and I pull her toward the edge of the net, noting the gray shirt with a start. Abnegation? I release her and a moment later reach out again as she nearly falls. I grab her arms to steady her, still in shock as she looks up at my face. She stands straight and I drop my hands.

"Thank you," she says, her eyes shifting around her curiously.

"Can't believe it. A Stiff, the first to jump? Unheard of," Lauren speaks up from behind me. I try not to let the comment bother me.

"There's a reason why she left them, Lauren," I reply, watching the girl as she turns her attention back to me. "What's your name?"

"Um…" She hesitates and I see a small crease appear on her brow as she thinks. There is something familiar in the way she worries about the answer and I fight back a smile.

"Think about it. You don't get to pick again." I watch her face as the crease disappears, her decision made.

"Tris," she answers, all hesitation gone from her voice.

"Tris," I hear Lauren say. "Make the announcement, Four." I turn my head toward the crowd behind us.

"First jumper – Tris!" I yell, hearing the cheers start. I watch Tris as her wide eyes scan the crowd and then I hear another sound over the cheers. A scream. I turn my attention back to the net as another body lands.

The crowd laughs and begins cheering again as the next girl is pulled from the net. There is something about the girl, Tris that I can't explain. Maybe it's that she is also a transfer from Abnegation or maybe it was the determination that made her jump first. Whatever the reason, I feel a shift in my mood. I can feel a bit more of the excitement. I touch her back to get her attention before I speak.

"Welcome to Dauntless," I say before walking toward the net to help the others.

"Are you the last one?" Lauren asks the tall boy as she tries to hold him upright. He looks green, like he may vomit on her at any moment. He doesn't speak, but he nods. Lauren exchanges a glance with me and I know she's taunting me about this transfer. I shake my head and turn to walk down the hall, ready to start the training.

When we reach the end of the hall, Lauren and I turn to face the initiates, waiting for them to close in enough to hear.

"This is where we divide," Lauren begins. "The Dauntless-born initiates are with me. I assume _you _don't need a tour of the place." She smiles, leading her group off as I glance over the few that remain. I count them quickly. Nine. A smaller group than last year.

"Most of the time I work in the control room, but for the next few weeks, I am your instructor," I begin, my words coming out mechanically. "My name is Four." Before I can continue, a girl in Candor clothes interrupts me.

"Four? Like the number?" She asks in the blunt fashion known only to Candor.

"Yes. Is there a problem?" I ask, trying not to let my irritation show. There are always questions from the Candor transfers and it usually starts with my name.

"No." I give a small nod at her response before continuing.

"Good. We're about to go into the Pit, which you will someday learn to love. It-" I try to continue with my speech but I'm cut off by the same Candor girl as before.

"The Pit? Clever name," she chuckles. I walk straight toward her, knowing that the one thing she may respond to is intimidation. Candor's honesty makes them come across as mocking and I have to teach her respect. I lean as close to her as possible before I speak.

"What's your name?" I keep my voice quiet, my eyes on hers.

"Christina," she answers quickly, her voice higher than before.

"Well, Christina, if I wanted to put up with Candor smart-mouths, I would have joined their faction," I spit the words at her. "The first lesson you will learn from me is to keep your mouth shut. Got that?"

She nods quickly and I turn my back to the group, moving toward the doors of the Pit. I can hear the footsteps of the initiates and a few soft whispers but it seems I got my point across.

I push through the doors to the Pit, holding them open as the initiates move into the space. The awed expressions and murmurs among the group remind me of what it was like to see this for the first time. I stand for a moment, letting them get the feel of what Dauntless life can really be like.

"If you follow me, I'll show you the chasm," I say, motioning them toward the right side of the Pit. I walk up to the barrier, making room for them to gather around. I watch them as the stare at the water splashing against the rocks.

"The chasm reminds us that there is a fine line between bravery and idiocy!" I call out to be heard over the rushing water. "A daredevil jump off this ledge will end your life. It has happened before and it will happen again. You've been warned."

I turn leading the group toward the dining hall. I move aside after I enter, letting them walk in as the members stand and cheer. I watch the reactions of some of the initiates, smiling and awed at the response. The small girl, Tris, blushes softly but smiles nonetheless. I remember the feeling of coming here after being raised in Abnegation. This attention was a bit overwhelming.

I follow the group as they spread out to find seats. I end up at a table with Tris and the Candor girl, Christina. I noticed during the tour that the two were together a lot and I hope silently that Christina doesn't do too much to corrupt Tris. The culture shock of changing to Dauntless was probably enough for this girl but if Christina doesn't control her Candor habits, she could make things much harder.

I grab a hamburger from the tray at the center of the table, covering the bun with ketchup and taking a bite. I glance over at Tris, watching as she sticks her finger against the meat. I nudge her, pulling her attention away from the food.

"It's beef," I explain quietly, pushing the bowl of ketchup toward her. "Put this on it."

"You've never had a hamburger before?" Christina asks. I bite my tongue, hoping I won't have to snap at the Candor girl again before the end of day one.

"No, is that what it's called?" Tris asks, her attention still on the food.

"Stiffs eat plain food," I explain to Christina, hoping she'll drop the subject.

"Why?" She asks.

"Extravagance is considered self-indulgent and unnecessary," Tris shrugs but recites the line like a perfect Abnegation.

"No wonder you left," Christina replies and it takes all I have in me to keep my focus on my food.

"Yeah. It was just because of the food," Tris says and I fight a smile again. She surprised me once already, being the first to jump, but it seems this girl has fight in her.

I hear the door open and look up as the room grows quiet. I see Eric looking around the room and I take another bite of my food, hoping he finds someone else to talk to.

"Who's that?" Christina asks, at least she has the common sense to keep her voice down.

"His name is Eric," I answer. "He's a Dauntless leader."

"Seriously? But he's so young," she replies.

"Age doesn't matter here," I say, not knowing how else to explain. At lot of things don't seem to matter here anymore.

I can tell Christina has more questions but she straightens at the same time Tris does and I know Eric has spotted me and is on his way to the table. I glance to my right as he sits beside me. He stares at me a moment but I hold out and wait for him to speak first. It's always best to let Eric think he has the power.

"Well, aren't you going to introduce me?" he asks, nodding in the direction of the initiates while keeping his eyes on me.

"This is Tris and Christina," I reply, motioning to them. I watch as his eyes move over them and I wish I'd sat somewhere else… anywhere else. Whatever Eric's reason for showing up now, they shouldn't be involved.

"Ooh, a Stiff," Eric says, leering at Tris. "We'll see how long you last." I know the dig is meant at me as well but I say nothing. I turn my attention back to my food, knowing he will get to the point of this little visit soon enough.

"What have you been doing lately, Four?" he asks, tapping the table with his fingers. I watch the nervous movement of his hands briefly, trying to figure out where he might be leading me.

"Nothing, really," I reply vaguely, shrugging. I consider leaving the table, hoping to draw him away from Tris and Christina but since I haven't finished my food, it would seem too obvious.

"Max tells me he keeps trying to meet with you, and you don't show up," Eric finally says and I sigh internally. Not only do I not want to meet with Max, I'm not particularly happy that Eric knows about the offer now too. "He requested that I find out what's going on with you."

I take a moment to word my response carefully before I answer.

"Tell him that I am satisfied with the position I currently hold," I say flatly. I watch Eric's face as he tries to hide his surprise.

"So he wants to give you a job," Eric replies but it's not a question. He's just confirming what he already suspected.

"So it would seem," is all I say in answer.

"And you aren't interested," again, not a question.

"I haven't been interested for two years."

"Well, let's hope he gets the point, then," Eric says, standing and slapping my shoulder before leaving the table. I take a breath once he is gone, clenching my jaw as I try to push the conversation from my mind.

"Are you two… friends?" I hear Tris ask. It surprises me that she asked the question and not Christina but maybe she just beat her to it.

"We were in the same initiate class," I answer. "He transferred from Erudite."

"Were you a transfer too?" Tris blurts out the question and I turn to face her. Something in that question makes me realize that she may already know the answer. I'm not sure why I didn't consider before that she might know who I am. I didn't go out much for community activities in Abnegation but I look enough like my father that she may have already pieced things together.

"I thought I would only have trouble with the Candor asking too many questions. Now I've got Stiffs, too?" I reply, watching her as I try to determine how much she knows. The memories of my past are something I struggle with every day and I've worked hard to make sure the people here know as little as possible.

"It must be because you're so approachable. You know. Like a bed of nails," she answers in a flat voice, her eyes locked on mine.

I wait for her to look away but she doesn't. A dark flush spreads through her cheeks but she boldly stares me down. I think about the tone and the sarcasm in her replies since we've been at dinner, both with Christina and me. I know that someone who belongs in Abnegation wouldn't have spoken that way so I take a breath through my nose to calm myself before I speak.

"Careful, Tris," is all I say.

I hear my name and use the excuse to break the eye contact, turning my head, to nod at Zeke before returning my attention to my food. Nothing else is said surprisingly and when I finish my food I head back to my room. Eric is responsible for showing the initiates to the dorms and explaining the process of training to them.

Once I'm alone, my anxiety returns. Training will be a welcome distraction but I need to make sure I don't lose focus on whatever else is going on. The files I found, the possibility of war, the link between the Erudite and Dauntless… all these things are weighting on me more than I realized before today.


End file.
